I digress. So on the way to Saskatoon, my mom and I got talking about death. This was probably becasue her friend D's brother-in-law had just died the week before. D was supposed to go Homecoming with my mom but she felt that she should stay home with her husband, P, who was mourning the loss of his brother. My mom had talked to D about the funeral the night before and everyone's reaction to the death. D's brother-in-law had had cancer so his death was not a sudden thing (not that death isn't sudden no matter what the situation). D and P knew that he was dying so they, as well as the rest of the family, had gone to his home to be with him and say their goodbyes. Surprisingly, P's brother became a little frustrated by the whole ordeal. Eventually the whole family had to take turns staying with him during the week and take "days off" from visiting.
At this point, my mom and I started to talk about my grandparents and the fragility of their lives at this moment in our lives. My two grandfathers have passed on in the last 10 years but my grandmothers are still with us. I say this with a little hesitation. One of my grandmothers has severe "Dementias like tendencies" as they like to call it but she is otherwise physically fine. She can no longer remember names and her speech is gone. In essence, she is just a vessel. This may sound harsh but it is the reality of her reality and the rest of her life. My other grandmother is in good health but is now finally slowing down a little more every time I see her.
**This is a picture that reminds me of the road to my grandparents cabin in Saskatchewan. It isn't but I have always had a fondness for pictures of prairie scenes. Must be something in the blood.**
Whenever we talk about death, my family always talks about the deaths of my grandfathers. They were expected and unexpected in their own ways. My mother's father had always been sick all of my life becasue of a longer-time heart condition and heart attack that occurred just before I was born. I think my mom's family then realized the fragility of his life and of life in general. All of his grandchildren grew up seeing him take numerous pills and other health medication so we all knew that he would not be with us forever. Conversely, my father's parents have always been in good health in my lifetime. I think it was harder for my dad and his sister to lose their father because they had not experienced the health scares my mother's family had with my grandfather.
I remember the day my dad's father died. My brother and I were at the house he was looking after for the week and he got a call on his cell phone. It was my mother telling us grandpa had passed away. My brother then hung up the phone and told me. I think for us, it was alright. We knew that he was in a better place and that he was no longer suffering. We decided to go to the young adults group we went to weekly. It seemed very strange to the people there when we asked them to pray for us during the devotional period before eating supper. They seemed shocked that we were there with them. But, isn't that where we should have been? With our family and friends?
I remember my mom's father telling us to go on with our lives the week before he died. He wanted me to go play in the softball provincials my team was in and he wanted E and I to go to the music camp we were registered in the next week. An we did. He didn't want us to watch and wait for him to slowly slip away. I guess in a way, he wanted to see that we could survive without him.
I don't know if this is true but it seems as though everyone that I know that has died, has died while their family hasn't been in the room. Maybe this is becasue we come into this world alone so we must also leave it alone. I don't know. All I know is that this life is only a tiny glimpse of what is to come. The banquet feast and the guests will be ready at the table with welcoming arms outstretched, waiting for us to come home.
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